Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Personal Growth

If you couldn't tell by now I like looking at my personal growth, I find it really encouraging.

SO one year ago I did something that changed my life COMPLETLY! I told my parents (upon being black mailed) that I was still talking the man they told me not to, for many reasons. I confessed to (most of) the stuff we did. This changed things for me, my parents, sisters, and Trey.

My parents GRACIOUSLY gave me THREE options, as to how I could proceed; I chose to move out. Now before you start in on my parents go back and re-read that sentence.... did you re-read it? Good. Notice that I said Graciously, options, and chose; No? Try again. I said those thing because they didn't have to give me any options, let alone three. They allowed me to make my own decision about my life. Which is like the nicest thing they could of done, considering that I had been SERIOUSLY lying to them for a LONG time. That had a major, huge, ginormous, impact on my relationship with my parents and sisters. For a long time there was a very very strained relationship between me and them. There was ALWAYS love for each other, but interactions were strained. However I am really excited and proud to report that the relationship with my parents and sisters, has become something so very wonderful. I have gotten closer to my little sister (they may be taller than me but they will always be my little sisters), mom and will talk about our life problems like two friends might. Talking with mom used to terrify me (I don't know why) but now I look forward to my conversations with her, and enjoy being in her company. I get giddy when I know I'm going to see them. (LIKE TONIGHT!!!!!!!) Now this may because I hate being alone, but my sisters are great, and are growing up into enchanting young woman! Things that they used to that drive me crazy, (Nathalie I know you will make a comment that its not a far drive)  I now cherish. I love my family, ALL of them.
The last year held a lot of tears, but I am very relieved about how everything worked out. As the diamond starts off as a black smelly mess, coal; so did that chapter of my life. However though the pressure, we all came out more like diamonds <> I still have a long way to go, and that excites me.
Peace and blessings :) <3

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Name Calling

As kids in school we are taught the saying: Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Now this is true if we are looking at the physical body, words wont make scars or break bones. Words do hurt us though, words cause wounds that sometimes never heal. Name calling is one the deepest wounds we can afflict on some one. When some one calls us a name we try to reject it at first, but soon we start to believe it. Eventually we only see ourselves as what those names people have called us, and not what we truly are.

Growing up I've been called a lot of names, it didn't bother me until someone complimented me. The first time I remember getting a compliment from some one I wasn't close with, I had NO CLUE what to say, till my mom told me to say ''thank you''... I had no clue thats what I should say! When I started to date Trey, and he would compliment me, I felt so undeserving of them. At one point I told him to stop complimenting me and I would PREFER it if he insulted me. Needless to say he didn't stop and his attempts to insult me were more laughable than his jokes. I'm getting the hang of receiving compliments, maybe not believing them, but I'm working on it. The problem with this, as I learned today, is that that more you get complimented, the more the insults hurt. I was called a not so lovely name by some one I at one time held in the highest regard. I'm not sure which hurts more, who it came form, or the what she called me. This woman may never know the impact her words have me. I refuse to lower my self to her level and call her names. This is why I chose to not put her name here. Instead I urge you if you have been called names, to not believe them for they aren't true. They are acts of jealousy mostly. So next time some one calls you something take it as the opposite, smile and thank them. For you clearly have something they want, and can not have.
May you all have a wonder full day. <3