Friday, May 12, 2017


As you all know I have severe anxiety. This makes small problems big deals, not because I want attention or I'm being dramatic, but because I am truly afraid, even when I know that fear is irrational sometimes. Most days I can cope, most days I am ok.  Other days I'm a complete mess.
Years ago I was told that anxiety was not a condition that needed medicine, you only need to seek the Lord's help. Even back then I knew that was wrong. Now before you all jump on me, about how the Lord is in control of everything, and the numerous bible verses about fretting not, I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't ask God for help. My faith plays a part in making me less anxious,  however it is not the only piece.
In my experience, little as it may be, there are two main types of anxiety, the ones we can control and the ones we cant. God help me with the ones that are controllable, my medication help with the ones that aren't. The meds reduce the uncontrollable times, so that I can have control and worry less. There are still times when I have no control, even to the point where I can't regulate my breathing. These are panic attacks, having a panic attack is does not mean you are looking for attention. You can't control them. They can come out of no where, any thing could be a trigger. This is the worst part of anxiety, the fact that you don't have control and everyone thinks you do.
Telling some one that is anxious to relax that there is nothing to worry about, or to stop being so dramatic, is the most frustrating and insulting part. Chance are we already feel bad that we are so anxious, and not being able to control it. Saying these things can make a person even more subconscious about being anxious which can make it worse. We stay being anxious about being anxious, and so begins a downward spiral.
We don't want special treatment either, we don't need a bubble around us. We just want some consideration, that when we freak out you give us some space and time to collect our selves. And everyone needs a different amount of space, you have to figure out what works for you. Some days will be bad, and you won't want to see anyone or doing anything, but others days you can go all day and not have a problem. There are days that you go all day and the right before bed you lose it really hard.
Remember none of us are mind readers, so you might not know what we're  freaking out about, it may be something that happened 10 years ago, or something that has never happened. There are times when we have absolutely no idea what is wrong.
My boyfriend uses the distraction method. When I start to have a panic attack he starts talking about babies. (I love babies) This has worked really well for me. Finding a way for him to help took some time but it was worth it.
Be patient. Nothing is fixed over night, but things do get better.

Lots of love <3