Sunday, July 31, 2016


525,600 minutes. That's how many minutes are in a year. According to the song seasons of love from rent. Which has recently become a favorite. As you may know, I love to look at personal grow over a year, of my own and others. I find it to be one of the biggest encouragers. The song is all about how do you measure a year or the life of a man. And it gives various ways to measure and then suggest love. And so i want to take the time and measure my year by how much love i have gotten.
As I'm sure you know, the last has been shall we say full, of events, and I have many people that have shown me love in various ways. I think the deepest love came from the person I hurt the most deeply and repeatedly, and yet she forgave me. This would be my Mom.
The next person, is my aunt Lauren and Uncle Andy. They have helped me, I'm many ways, but mostly when ever I was feeling, low, upest, mopey, sad, frustrated, angry, hurt, basicly anything, they would sit and listen often for hours, to my rants and raves. And give me advice, and encourage me, and when all else failed the kids would give hugs and cuddles.
Trey. Yup this guy has been out through the ringer. Dating me is probably one of his most stressful activities. But he's handled it really well. He seen me smile and let me cry for like what felt like forvever, he's been with me through my anxiaty, and he keeps on hiking through.
Mara who at the perfect moments will send me a quote or a video of a baby sloth...??. To light up my day when things are just not going well.
Josh that I can just show up at his house at like 11pm and cry for 30min, and he acts like that happens all the time.
Alex, you put up with alot. And will frankly tell me to stop, when I start feeling stressed about something.
The list of friends that is always there when I need them, or that will randomly text me to see how I'm doing, as if they ready know I'm having a bad day, goes on for miles, but my phone battery is about to die.... so I love you guys.

Thank you to everyone. If I where to measure this past year, by how much love i have received it's more than 525,600 moments.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Bad Day

This week has been.... well long is an understatement... Work has been busy which is good but stressful for EVERYONE here, any one that knows my boss knows what a "gem" he is when he is stressed out. I haven't been sleeping good at all this week, and i have been stressed about everything. So last night when my car had a melt down and put me on the side of the road for a bit, and then worked like. Nothing had happened i was (still am) upset. I am  MESS. I can say that enough, my hormones are running full speed and I'm here like wait what??? So I apologize if i seem out of it, ill be back on my game next week. I hope you are having a better week.

To end on a positive note, its Thursday and my sister is coming over for dinner. :)

Monday, July 4, 2016


So we all have experience with this thing called water. For some it's a cemical compound H2O, and others its a drink. Water has many functions.  we use it every day, from watering plants, drinking for our selves, and bathing to religious ceremony. Water has many uses and diffrent meanings to all of us.

Today I got the chance to sit on the dock of my aunts pond, and talk with Nathalie, as she did her devotions. The water was cold but not to bad. The fish and turtles were splashing. It's was beautiful and peacefull. Water to me is relaxin and seems to put my mind at ease, that not much can. It makes me feel totally relaxed and at rest, which I almost NEVER feel. This weekend has been fantastic, I spent time with my amazing family, I made progress in healing my relationships, and reconect with cousins I don't see very often. It's was full of relaxation and family. It's was amazing, thank you to everyone that made this weekend possible for me. <3