People will mistake my anxiety as lack of interest and being anti social, but I want to be social and I really do care. What they don't realize is I spend hours rehearsing what I'm going to say. Running through all the possible ways a conversation can go, practicing all my answers to any questions they may ask. I want to ask about how things are going, but I'm trying to find the right way and right time. I'll text you from the other room, not because I'm to lazy to come ask you in person, but because I can think about and edit the text before sending it and take my time to reply to make sure what I send is good, and conveys what I am trying to say. Some days I want to hide in my room because its safe. On those days the fact that I made it out of my room is an accomplishment. After a conversation I will replay it over and over thinking about what I should have said differently. No amount of telling my self that my fears are irrational makes them go away. My anxiety make me tense sometimes, and If you have ever had a tight muscle you know it take double the energy to move it then it normally does. Easy tasks become hard, like wiping the table makes you tired.
https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/blog/life-anxiety-hard-when-people-dont-understand
I read this article and agree, If you can take the time to read it.
